I get asked a lot if it is hard to be the one responsible for bringing home the bacon in our family. My wonderful hubby of almost 20 years left his full-time job when our oldest (now 12, where the hell did the time go???) was just about 2 years old and for the last decade has been CEO of our household. Not exactly the norm, right?

So, short answer… yes. But the long answer, it’s also been such a blessing.

I get asked a lot if it is hard to be the one responsible for bringing home the bacon in our family. My wonderful hubby of almost 20 years left his full-time job when our oldest (now 12, where the hell did the time go???) was just about 2 years old and for the last decade has been CEO of our household. Not exactly the norm, right?

So, short answer… yes. But the long answer, it’s also been such a blessing.

Well-meaning yet curious folks want to know what it’s like for me to have a husband that stays home while I work. I would be a bold-faced liar if I told you it hasn’t had its challenges. Sometimes in the dead of night, I look at my boys, growing up so freaking fast right in front of my eyes, and feel desperately sad that I didn’t get to stay home with them. Now it’s too late, it’s not like I can go back and do the stay at home mom gig. if I think about it too much, losing that opportunity has been heartbreaking. There have definitely been times when I resented my husband for being able to be there when I couldn’t.

There is a certain weight that comes with being wholly responsible for earning the money your family needs. Just like any family, we’ve been through times when money was tight. I have no illusions that he doesn’t feel that weight too. Knowing that he isn’t contributing financially hasn’t always been a walk in the park for him. So, as hard as it can be on this side, I try to remember that it is equally difficult on the other side of the equation. I think that is part of why it works so well for us in the end. We each remember that the other is making a sacrifice.

The blessing?

I love to work. I love using my gifts to help people. Optometry feeds my hunger to make a difference, to constantly be learning something new and to solve problems. The bonus with optometry is that I also get to truly change lives through improving peoples most precious sense, vision or their eye health and symptoms by making the right diagnosis. I love connecting with my patients and being a ray of sunshine in what may be an otherwise dismal day. And now, through The Modern Eye Site, I love connecting with women who are looking for encouragement and giving them some. I love helping other practice owners and doctors feel connected and providing advice to enrich their business lives with the pearls I’ve learned being a business person. When I look at what my husband contributes it’s easy to see that he takes care of a million different things so that I can do the things I love and so that I have the space to continue to dream and pursue big goals. ⠀

So, yes, it is hard in some ways, but a blessing in so many others. Honestly, I think that balance is a myth. As a mom, and doc, and as a family we go through seasons. My best advice for any mom who wants to hear it is this… You are not alone. We have all been there. You have to decide what YOU want in this season and then let go of the guilt associated with the rest. For us, this is the season that we are in, and I am nothing but thankful for it.